Spicer International Ltd has won in our 2016 UK Corporate Excellence Awards!
Imagine the excitement here at Spicer Towers when the email headline pinged into Stuart’s inbox. Within seconds, our beloved MD was already making space in the trophy cabinet, vigorously buffing up his already-heaving award collection. The message, from ‘Wealth & Finance International’ excitedly announced that “…following months of research and judging by our in-house research team, this awards program is here to shine a light on corporate leaders and highlight the best in business; companies that are adapting to market demands, showing innovation, expertise and professional acumen across the areas in which they practice. Spicer International Ltd has been recognised as one such company.”
Before he could read the rest of the email, Stuart was practising his corporate leader’s award-winning strut around the office whilst repeatedly muttering, “What will I wear on the night? What will I put in my speech? And can I get away with not buying Mrs S a new dress?”
But of course he was only joking. Because true to the golden rule ‘If something’s too good to be true then it probably is’*, the rest of the email revealed a particularly novel approach to the realm of award winning. In fact, this method consists of advertising our illustrious award in a publication produced by… Wealth & Finance International!
But what of the award itself? Upon further scrutiny it became apparent that the award was a ‘personalised crystal trophy’. Pretty good huh? And ours for just a cool £375 (not including postage & packing). This modest fee also guarantees a personalised ‘Corporate Excellence’ logo and inclusion in an ‘Expert Directory’! Even better, the bribe fee increases all the way up to £3,500, where you can receive other benefits such as FOUR other personalised crystal trophies to accompany your original (should it begin to feel a bit lonely).
But most importantly, parting with such an agreeable sum garners you something even better than all of the above. It also gives you prominent advertising space in the winner’s supplement – seen by 130,000 HNWI’s (high net worth individuals), wealth management professionals, business leaders, executives and investors!
So now you know what it takes to be a winner in business: just have all the attributes listed above plus three and a half grand to further swell the coffers of the aptly-named Wealth & Finance International!
*Except in the case of Spicer International’s amazingly low price deals, of course.